magiclegs

Howdy... Prauge is the reason cities were made...

2005-06-03T11:20:31Z

So, I am in an internet cafe right now and I thought i would just write you guys to let you all know that I hate everything that is not this city. The Charles Bridge is amazing... and I do not even like using that word... also, I went to a six story club last night... very cool indeed. Anywho, I leave in the morning, so you guys will be seeing me soon enough... and when you do... kill me. I must die. Or dye. My hair orange and white.

Sorry.

Now, that said, I think you are all going to like the things I have brought you, although some of you will have to settle for pictures or whatnot because I am almost out of money... I have a hundred dollars left... so, lots of cool stuff... but not everything that was asked for :0

Okay, I will see most of you guys sometime next week. Sorry, but I am planning to be pretty tired after the flight, so I hope you guys will not mind if I skip out on the just=got=back=party stuff. SMile. At least you are not dead...

e

IT'S IN THE BAG, BABY!

2005-06-01T06:13:24Z

Okay, so I'm about to leave for Prague... I hope nothing happens like I fall in a hole and the hole is full of death and stuff... either way, I will die eventually. But right now, now I am leaving. I love you guys in the way that love was meant to be loved and I hope you all die of love you lovely lovers...

Hotmail is being a freak, so I may not be able to send any personal emails... either way, I will be at the airport at 7:30 pm on Saturday...

YOu guys be the bee's knees and don't drink the water!

Love to my chickens...

e

I'll BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS...

2005-05-30T06:20:25Z

That is, if Christmas is Saturday and 7:30... well, that's the time. Kim, if you're coming, then that's when to be there. If you refuse the hotel idea, then bring Kevin... OR MAYBE BRING HIM ANYWAY!!!!! BLAH HA HA HA!

Sorry.

Anywho, there is not much to Budapest. I mean, if it wasn't Atlanta, then maybe I could say more, but basically, it's a normal city in a different country... there were a few perks, though...

Also, I am currently collecting all those little things that people asked me to get. This is like collecting Pokemon cards except with less self-indulgence... and with less thoughts of suicide too...

Okay, so today I am studying for my final exam... it'll be a breeze as long as I spend the next day and three hours studying... no prob, bob.

Finally, I am DYING to play some videogames... I need my psychonauts back and Doom and about six diet Dr. Peppers.

Okay, I'm gone now. Talk to you guys later today!

e

MOM, DO NOT READ THIS...

2005-05-28T16:31:15Z

Really, I am having fun, and I am being safe, but below there is language that cannot be avoided... love you... I cannot access hotmail where I am, so a formal email will have to wait...

Now...

First off, Kim, I will be home on the fourth. Not sure of the time yet, but I want you to pick me up. Also, I miss you more and more each day and it is almost where I cannot stand it any longer. To boot, I am extremely horny, so, remember how I said to bring Kevin...? Well, I love the boy to death (And Kevin, I bought you the coolest gift EVER today...), but it is gonna have to wait, because you are coming to get me and I am booking us in a hotel somewhere outside of forsyth... no questions asked. We get dinner. Then hotel. That is what will happen. Bring a change of clothes. Hot, dirty sex. Matter of fact, bring two changes of clothes. This is a demand. :) Love you. Muah.

ON A SIDE NOTE

I went to the Budapest Baths today... wow. Gigantic pools, hundreds of people, and the like. Then, I got a full body massage from a 50 year old Hungarian woman who looked like Carrie Fisherś grandmother... and I had a huge boner the whole time... I mean, wow. For an old woman, she almost got banged... :)

Okay, Kevin. What I wanted to get you was a pack of matches with Stalins face on them... but this was not for sale... so I settled for the next best thing... from that you should be able to surmise some sort of conclusion... or conclude some sort of surmision... I like that word...

Stephen, I got you some newspapers... you will love them. I promise.

Sara, I love your sweet ass like a little boy loves getting naked for older men... that much...

Bye guys....

e

Hey, everybody... I am still alive.....

2005-05-27T22:41:42Z

So, I am in Budapest now and I thought since I found a computer I could use, that I would email zou all and say, What is up, niggas? Well, that is what I am doing now... so... What is up?

The city is nice here. However, it is a little too like Atlanta for my tastes... I mean, yeah they have three hundred year old statues and all, but still, Atlanta with more history... that is all it is...

Anyway, I just wanted to post for all those who might be missing me or in fact despising my lack of communication in the past week... :) Well, I am here and I love you guys more than adam sandler loves Drew Berrymore and she loves being an ugly cow.... oh well, I will be home sunday night, and I will do some AIM stuff and send out some emails... oh, that will be around four or five for you guys...

Later'

Love to Kim... and mom... and Kevin... and Stephen... and Sara... and anybody else i forgot...
:)

Me + Drunk = This

2005-05-25T17:10:30Z

Okay, so right now it's six o'clock and I'm fucking druuunk...

See, I've tried and tried and tried, but i just cannot drink this fucking beer shit they keep pushing on me... I mean, I know it's a fucking cultural thing and all, and that I'm supposed to submerge myself in the culture and all to be all cutural and shit -- but I ain't. I just fuckin' ain't.

But.

But I've found something I can drink: walk into any place in the Czech Republic (And I mean ANY PLACE... these people are fuckin' crazy, man), ask for a Coke Light and then make a little motion with your hand like you're trying to squish a cockroach longways and say the words "Vodka." Then, one mix of the two and one incomplete setence later -- you're fucking tipsy.

Rinse. Repeat.

So, tonight I'm going out. Might visit a tattoo shop. Might do it tomorrow. Or in Budapest. I don't know. Either way, I've made up my mind that I'm getting a tattoo, so all I have to do is get to the place when they're open... and I promise you guys will LOVE the tattoo. I took a survey among the girls here to find out where is the sexiest place to get a tattoo and with that I plan to couple the most non-sexy tattoo ever... oh yeah, you will all want to go down on my non-sexy sexy-ness... you all. Y'all.

Yes, y'all.

Anyway, every heartbeat of every second is the most fun I've ever had. I am loving this in the way that people love to do things... I mean, if love were population, I would be China. Fun -- that's what I'm having. Though I do miss you guys, I will never, ever, ever forget this moment right here, right now.

Like Van Halen.

I am in a lonely place, though... no one will have sex with me... I mean, being so close to the end and all and I'll I want to do is get laid one last time... I have pornographic material and lubricants and...

Thank you, Chloe...

But...

Thank you, Chloe...

:) (No one get crazy... starting with "I am in a..." is all Fight Club. Just so no one gets crazy... I mean, Eric doesn't get laid... geeez.)

Okay, so I'm not quite ready to stop yet. I'm thinking, what would Louie Armstrong do...?

Ohhhhhhh, your daddy is rich... and you're momma's good lookin'... so hush, little baby -- don't you cry....

ONE OF THESE DAYS... YOU'RE GONNA RISE UP SINGING.... SPREAD YOUR WINGS... AND YOU'LL TAKE TO THE SKY....

A:LKFHA:LKFHAD::ADH::EIHFE:HSNE:HR:OIYT:ROITWR

e

CONCENTRATIONS CAMPS ARE THE BEE'S KNEES, BABY!!!!!

2005-05-23T05:33:48Z

So, yeah... I went there. Everyone's eyes already shrinkwrapped in tears and me -- I've got a cheeseburger. Me, I'm in the gift shop buying stuff. Me, I'm in the crematorium and I'm wishing I could smoke. Long-ass tour. Most tours, they give you some details, tell you some stories -- and then you're done. But not here. No way. Mr. Man spent thirty minutes with every step. I mean, I love seeing the place, but good god could it have taken any longer?!

Other than that, I went to the Jewish Quarter in Krakow where the Nazis stormed through the streets stealing Jews... and then I found a coin on the ground. A coin. In the Jewish Quarter.

I'll let you think about it.

Also, I met the last survivor (That is, the last still in Krakow) from Schindler's List. I took a picture of him and he held out his hand for money. I mean, isn't it enough that I didn't make him march through the snow with no shoes on? What the FUCK does he want from me?!

Sigh.

Anyway, I'm having fun. Lots of stuff to see and do. And I've got something to show you all. Somethign I bought at the infamous giftshop...

A lighter.

I'll let you think about it.

e

WHERE MY NIGGAS AT??????!

2005-05-18T14:42:27Z

So, I am still here. Still here and I am hungry. They stopped feeding me. But I snuck a rat through the guards... we feasted on its raw intestines -- a feast to our rapidly shrinking stomachs... but we ate too much... i got sick... i vomited, ate my own vomit... too much vomit... got sick again...

The people here shaved my head and gave me a number. My number is L. Yes, that is a number here. They also sawed my left hand off and now they make me suck the fingers like some animal... someone started pumping phosphorus into my bloodstream... it was neat for a while, but now it is not... I wait for death.

Death. Come to me.

I saw light today. One of the other Americans ran for the door. When he did, our oppressors shot him. One of the bullets though bounced off the bone and hit a wall. The light made a ribbon across the kicked updust...

They've patched the hole now. Used the dead guy's thumb... we ate the rest. Bone. And flesh.

i am cold here.

cold here

they made us walk. they took our clothes. naked, like babies, like sheared sheep, our bodies pink, then red, then purple. from the weather. Someone bit my shoulder blade. hard, boney teeth through the skin. against the bone. my blood warmed us. we drank. feasted.

walked. we walked.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT I AM PERFECTLY fine and okie dokie times 12! The classes are kind of boring because the discussions keep creeping over to economics... but that's okay. Tonight I go to the opera. Mozart's Figarota something-or-nother... I don't know. Other than that, not much. Just walking around and stuff. I can now walk by myself and go anywhere and as long as I know the word "nezradin" and can find a cab, I am OK. I crept around a mental institution and... not too much... I went to a graveyard yesterday. Got locked in a graveyard. Made love to myself in the bathroom. Thumbed through a Czech Cosmo. Um, there is this church here that looms over the city like some sort of citadel of all-encompassing, circumambient pain and absolute, irrevocable death-ness... it's the one with the bodyparts scattered through it... good stuff. I leave for Poland Friday. I don't know if I'll be able to email or update then, so I'll try to make another post Thursday night...

OH YEAH! Star Wars comes out on the 19th here too! That means that I can see it before the general public (Because the first showing here is at five and we are six hours ahead of you guys), but you are all going to the midnight showing anyway, so, no big deal. It is, however, in Czech only. The movie is big enough to lauch in Czech, so it looks like I'll get to see what Yoda sounds like saying "Dobreyden!" Fun stuff, nonetheless.

Okay, love you fuckers! Kevin, you are THE MAN that THE WOMAN had a sex change to become. Stephen, you are a beautiful thing in a world full of rusted sheet metal. And white. Paul, you are you. Shonda, you are you + big titties!!!!! YIPPIEEEEEEEE! GONADS AND STRIFE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, catch you niggas on the Czech-side....

CZECH--SKI!!!!!

2005-05-16T05:35:01Z

Did you guys see the hockez game last night?!!!! Czech won the championship against Canada and I was fucking there in the streets when it happened! There was this gigantic hockey party in the streets of this ancient universal clock in the main square just down from our dorms. They had set up and gigantic projection screen and in the dark we all chanted "Czech--ski! Czech--ski!!!" I have no idea what it means, but some guys ran up to me and grabbed me and I yelled "Czech--ski!" and they just chanted in back!!!

Great stuff...

Also, this place is fucking cool, man! The flight sucked, but after that, everything has been cool. We went to some castle in the mountains, we toured the city, saw a bunch of churches and that kind of stuff, slept on a bunch of buses, ate a lot of fried cheese (Which is JUST LIKE a cheese stick, except square, like some sort of cheese slab of cheese-crete...) I tried a lot of beer, got disgusted by a lot of beer, had a really, really, really hard time communicating, went to a place called Globis which they said was like Walmart but this fucking place eats Walmart alive!!!!!! We went to a gigantic garden maze where I hoped Iwould be chased by a crazed version of my father through the snow, but was not... and then... we went to Beerfest, which is yet another reason for these people to drink, and we all danced to some bad cover band who played Tom Petty's "Last Dance with Mary Jane" on an accordian!

Today we have our first day of class. Shouldn't be so bad, I think. Oh well...

Anywho, today I plan to get some food and ice cream, and then go and check out the church of evil (That's what I call it... I'll send pictures soon and you will all know what I mean... [Just taste of what's to come: inside the church there are glass boxes that hold the body parts of some famous priest... hands, skull, legs... you know...]} Then I hope to visit a graveyard. Either way, you guys will see some pictures soon! I've taken two hundred so far....

Oh! And also, my savings card was eaten yesterday by an ATM in Globis... I thought I was using my check card though, so when it happened and they told me I would have to wait, I thought I was going to rip someone's motherfucking eyeballs out! But, it wasn't my check card... just savings... so I'll have Jacob (Our guide/professor/waiter [Pronounced: Ya-cb]) help me contact the bank and tell them to just shred the card. Anywho, I will talk to you guys later! Post some information about yourselves! I hope to be back in the morning (About 1 am for you guys), but just know that I will be back.

Eric :)

JUST IN CASE I AM KIDNAPPED BY CZECH REBELS...

2005-05-12T07:14:40Z

Here is a haiku about Stephen:

This guy I know is
all silver and white and to-
night he said goodbye.

Here's one for Paul:

Spitting out vocab.
Like a "Bad Religion" song.
sagacious, obtuse.

Here's one for Kevin:

such a goddamn cunt --
love inseminates life with
a bastard child.

Here's one for Brian Sparks:

Made the best of it,
sold the rest of it. and please.
please. don't go on me.

And finally, Sara:

That greasy butt on
t.v. sure was greasy and
she squirted, not peed.

What's Wrong with Videogames...?! -- Preface

2005-01-25T01:26:48Z

Anyone who knows me knows I can be pretty hard to please:

For instance, who is it that no one wants to ask about a movie?! Well, it's me, of course! Why is it me? Well, it's because I haven't been 100 percent satisfied with a film since... well, since never, ever, I think... I mean, no matter how good the film is, I can always find something that keeps it just shy of perfection. The same goes with novels, TV shows, people, ideas... I mean, the list goes on and on and on and...

Well, you get the picture...

I mean, name a film, or a book, or whatever, and just watch the magic happen... I mean, it never fails! You say, "Fight Club?" and I say "Tacked-on climax." You say, "Schindler's List?" and I say, "Contrived color 'bookends' to make sure we ignorant audience members know the Jews actually cared... as if we couldn't already tell..." Or perhaps you say, "Descartes...?" and then I punch you because if you don't know what's wrong with Descartes then you shouldn't be asking about him in the first place.

Again, you get the picture...

But what about videogames? I mean, even the most hardcore (Oh, how I loathe that term...), 1337 (Again with the loathing) gamers have to admit that the state of videogames is currently in a rather unpleasant position, right?

Maybe this picture isn't quite clear enough...

(To be continued tonight...)

Today is just a day fading into another...

2004-12-16T04:41:57Z

Yep. Life sucks when you sink so low as to quote a Counting Crows song on your subject heading... Could be worse, I suppose... I could be quoting fucking Ozzy or something...

So, anyway... just to have something to talk about... I'll discuss John Cage. No, this is not Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat... this is John Cage the composer...

John Cage, like some of the composers before him (ANYONE BUT MOZART, WHO WAS TOTAL CRAP), was a "shover."
Or rather, "shover" is the term I'm using to discuss innovation.

Now, in order to create some sort of closure, I will say that composers such as Beethoven, Stravinsky, Miles Davis, Elvis, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Cobain and Trent Reznor have a term too--they are "collectors." This is, of course, opposed to those that shove and who thus become the "shovers."

Yes, there is a point...

Now, John Cage made lots of music. He also made lots of artsy crap. For instance, go into any university music library and find a copy of his piece "4:33" (Meaning: Four minutes and thirty-three seconds), pop it in a record player, and listen...

Do you know what you'll hear...?

Nothing.

John Cage thought it would be cool if he stretched the limits of music a bit (This being the same guy who thought it would be cool to hit piano strings with wood and metal while he played...), so he arranged a new show. Being a major player at the time, he attracted a rather large audience. Then, when their expectations were the highest, he walked out on stage, sat at his piano, lifted the cover, and...

Sat there.

He even had a stopwatch. He held it in his hand. He'd get up... he'd pace... he'd do anything he wanted for four minutes and thirty three seconds and then, when it was all over, he'd walk off stage.

"So," you ask. "What exactly made it music?"

My answer is: The audience.

They themselves became the music. Their noises; their booing; their coughing, talking, whatever--that was Cage's point.

So how does this make him a "shover?"

Lets flash-forward to someone I know you all are at least aware of:

Trent Reznor.

Now, what Trent did was pretty simple. He fused "mental noise" (Or the monkey brain if you want to dig up a past post) with a semi-coherent beat/forward motion. However, he was not the first to do this... he was simply able to do it well.

Cobain and Lennon also did this. They took what one uber-famous artist had done before them and regurgitated it into a "style." But the uber-famous are not the only ones to thank for each progression...

John Cage also deserves credit; along with artists such as Phillip Glass and numerous others who all had one thing in common:

They never saw a stopping point. They "shoved" and "shoved" until there was nowhere to go. However, this is not what makes good music.

And this is my point.

For every artist we cherish and love there are others that go unheard of--not because they sucked, but because they simply shoved too hard. Artists such as these push until there is nothing left; and when they are done, they have explored the whole of whatever it was they were trying to explore. But what did they achieve but artsy artsyness?

Well, the truth is: Nothing. But the artists that followed--they received something... through the "shoving" they were able to see form. Trent Reznor saw form. Bob Dylan saw form.

Beethoven saw form.

And form this form they were able to craft wonderful music. They found the pieces in all the noise.

So, my question is: Who is our "shover?"

History has shown that there is always one. So, who is it? You can even apply this to other forms of art or innovation if you like. Who is it that pushed things so far that they became bad, but not in the usual bad way, but in the too artsy way?

For me, and I know I'll get eaten alive for this... I think it's David Bowie. Maybe someone newer now, I'll have to think about it, but definitely Bowie at some point or another. Some of you may say Cobain... who knows...

And if this is the only part you read of the post then i will give you a question that will not require reading the rest? What color is sympathy? How does it smell?

Yep, that's what you lethargic folks get. You other ones get the rest of the page. Who it is that benefits exactly is left up to you all.

Eric

GCSU GRADES POSTED!!!!

2004-12-15T01:59:28Z

BA-BA-BA-BAAAAM, NIGGAS!

Got my grades today... An A, two B's and a motherfucking C... oh well, it could be worse... I also got an IP but this is for my research hours class for my senior project and they don't give that grade until the end of the next semester... the A was in Fiction Workshop. The two B's were in Philosophy and Journal Editing... the C was in an upper-level American Lit class.... I didn't spend a lot of time on any of the papers so since that was all he graded on, I got what I deserved... good class though... read eight novels, most of them pretty good. "Pudd'nhead Wilson" from Twain, "The Awakening" from Chopin, "The Country of the Pointed Firs" from Jewett, "The House of Mirth" from Wharton, "The Marrow of Tradition" from Chesnutt, "Maggie: A Girl of the Streets" from Crane, "Daisy Miller" and "The Turn of the Screw" from James, and that's it, motherfuckers! The whole shebang!

Other than that, I didn't do much. Got some writing done after I got home from work.

Not much else.

So, I guess I had a realy boring day...

...

This post is wildly insignificant...

2004-12-14T06:21:25Z

Okay, so after joining the legion of counter-counter-counter culture Live Journal/internet forum folks I discovered that I have to now choose between two things: A.) Make self-absorbent posts that exemplify just how insignificant I am by trying to find some significance in the great insignificance that is human existence, or B.) Share porn...

I'll choose the latter...

However, if anyone else has something to add in the way of existential/Kierkegaard-esque questions that I can ask myself to figure out who I really am or what faith is or, oh, golly, oh golly, why I loath every fraction of every second that ticks by--please, post them here.

Or if you have porn, that too is good.